Seven fun sides of print

It was a closed door roundtable conference. 25 print delegates. One delegate is attending it for the first time. When someone next to him jumps to his feet, shouts: "Hundred and seven" and all the other delegates applaud. Another shouts back, "Seven thousand and thirteen", and gets a standing ovation.

01 May 2015 | By Sriraam Selvam

The new delegate asks, what is going on?
"It's like this, we talk about quality standards and colour specs and such in these round tables. By now, everyone knows all the standards by heart. So instead of telling the whole joke, we just stand up and shout the number, " says the neighbour.
The next time there is a roundtable, the new delegate decides that's it's his turn to join in. He stands up and shouts, "Fourteen".
Total silence ensues. Turning to the earlier neighbour, he enquires, what went wrong?
"Fourteen has been phased out last year. You should have said Fourteen Version Two!"
The printer and his wife were on a honeymoon. His wife was describing the night sky and marvelling the million stars in the sky glistening like quicksilver on a black velvet. In awe she pointed out the waxen moon riding across the blue-ish clouds like an amber chariot, towards the blackness of space. In the background where the multi hues of Jupiter and Mars hovered.
She turned to her husband, and asked, "Jaan, how is it?"
The husband replied, "Not bad. But cyan main mis-resgitration hain."
One printer to a big customer: These are my delta values. If you don't value them. I have others.
Somewhere on this globe there is a printer who is printing a bad print job in every second. He must be found and his press firm must be administered.
Ques: Describe a carrot?
Ans: Usually orange in colour which needs a hexachrome gamut that is able to hit 90% of PMS colours
Yesterday I called my printer and asked can you give me information about the job your printed for me?
Ask anything he said.
Ye sir, he replied.
So I asked him, how many dots in one job.
He said, I don't know.
Seventy seven point seven per cent of all print statistics are made up on the spot.