What the high and mighty laws actually mean - The Noel D'Cunha Sunday Column

This Sunday Column, we take a tongue in cheek look at Management Laws which have been enshrined in your brain cells. After all, it is the festive season, so why not have a bit of fun. A Terrific 2016 to everyone.

30 Dec 2015 | By Noel D'Cunha

Murphy's First Law for Designers
If you ask your designer five questions about the file he sent you, then he will add one more input as an afterthought. Also, he will ask you to delete two elements based on the questions you asked him.
Kauffman's Paradox of the Print Job
The less important your print job is to the customer, the more the delay shall be.
The Price Axiom
The client says the price is the least important aspect of a print job, and yet it is always the most discussed.
Miller's Law of Insurance
Why is it that insurance covers everything except the tragedy that will unfold tomorrow.
First Law of Investing
As soon as you decide what you want to invest in, everything else seems much more lucrative.
Weiner's Law of Contracts
There are no answers, only fine-print. And generally, you are the only one in the room who has not read it.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Printability
Any job that starts out well with a great first impression does not make the best impression. And any job that makes the best impression does not start with a good first impression.
The Curious Spare Part Law
The spare part you planned for; and stocked for a rainy day when the press will be down, and there is no maintenance man in sight; remains hidden and locked at the bottom of your drawer for the longest period of time.
Lampner's Law of Delivery
Whenever you deliver a job on time, it will go unnoticed. The one time you are about to botch up on schedule, you will get a call from your client's boss while you are at your daughter's vaccine inoculation.

Fourier's Law of Conduction
This law deals with the transmission of genius through printed materials. So, the genius flux, G (the flow of genius per unit area and per unit of time), is proportional to the lack of it in a human brain. That way, there are  many more like Newton and Pascal who acquire genius-ness on their 21st birthday