Fun with ERP #1.
The latest version of the end-to-end modular ERP for packaging and label printers is so good
I suspect very soon we can install them inside human beings
Imagine if I had one of them installed inside me
I can access the stock levels in my brain, my progress, my cash flow and self-manage aspects of my life
Fun with ERP #2.
Speaking of ERPs being installed into a human being
I suspect Lionel Messi already has an ERP
One of the plug-and-pay modules
With regular monthly upgrade cycles
Fun with ERP #3.
ERP is that which is written
(Preferably with Big Data)
And is coded today
For a tomorrow which never comes
'Cause tomorrow never comes
Fun with ERP #4.
A beautiful ERP is an act of resistance
That's because it has to overcome a lot of resistance
Especially in India
From auditors, accountants, operators
And from the Rs 5-lakh mindset
Fun with ERP #5.
ERP is like a Bonsai
Very very beautiful
But very expensive to maintain
Not so pretty as a Bonsai
But hardworking and sturdy like a Bunyan
And survives for hundreds of years
Fun with ERP #6.
There's no such thing as a perfect ERP
There's always something missing
The key is to find it
That's the essence of ERP
Fun with ERP #7.
In the era of Adam and Eve
If there was ERP
There would have been no story of the serpent
And no story of the Forbidden Apple
Simply because we could have future forecasted things
Fun with ERP #8.
Do ERP companies use ERP?
Fun with ERP #9.
We must celebrate National ERP Day
On 32 December
The day all algorithms are on a holiday
Fun with ERP #10.
What is ERP?
A river asked me
If I implement it
Can I flow more
And monetise my activities?
Fun with ERP #11.
When the box
In your shopfloor
Asks, what is out of the box?
Fun with ERP #12.
I asked the rising sun
What is the secret to your success?
The sun replied: centralised portfolio and error-free workflow
Fun with ERP #13.
I asked the moon
What happened to you, good sir?
Why are you not as successful as the sun?
The moon said, "what to do, I use Visual Basic!"
Fun with ERP #14.
A good ERP cannot be neutral
If it is so
Then it leads to crimes and scams
That's because corruption is neither Windows nor Unix based
Fun with ERP #15.
I was in a temple town the other day
The priest was promising a newly married couple
"A bungalow, a BMW, a vacation to the Bahamas"
After everyone left
I asked the priest
"Guruji, what was all that about?"
The priest replied: Religion
How so, I asked?
Religion is the world's first profitable e-commerce site
Oh, I said
The priest continued: Prayers are the best web to print platform
What about god? I asked?
The priest said, "God is great because he is on auto pilot
Plus heaven is excellent at customisable customer relationship management
PostScript - I
A short poem for ERP
A cloud in the sky is a cloud
A cloud for a farmer is next season's crops
A cloud in a poet's imagination is an idea
A cloud for an ERP specialist is all the above three
Plus it should have faster throughput, predictive analysis and inventory control
PostScript - II
A shorter poem about ERP
As I sit with Yudhishtra, Duryodhana and Ashwathama
On the battlefield of Kurukshetra
I tell them
With a good ERP
Bundled with workflow analytics and dynamic visual factoring
Plus dashboards on your chariots
You could have managed the Mahabharata better